2 Samuel 12:20-23 - Serious Comfort for Searing Pain

Nothing hurts like the death of a child; nothing heals like God's promises.

2 Samuel 12:20-23 (NIV)

CONTEXT: King David has been convicted by the prophet Nathan of his adulterous affair with Bathsheba. Nathan told him "Because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the LORD, the son born to you will die” (v14). David "pleaded with God for the child" (v16), but as prophesied, the child died. David has just been told by his staff that the child is dead.

20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.

21 His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”

22 He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ 23 But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”

Canons of Dordt

Point 1 - God's Unconditional Election

Articles 1-14

Article 17: The Salvation of the Infants of Believers

Since we must make judgments about God’s will from his Word, which testifies that the children of believers are holy,
1. not by nature
2. but by virtue of the gracious covenant in which they together with their parents are included,
Godly parents
1. ought not to doubt the election and salvation of their children
2. whom God calls out of this life in infancy.

Summary

The death of a child is one of the most traumatic events anybody might experience. It must have been even more so for David, knowing that it was his own sin that caused the child to die. We see in so many psalms David's ability to pray so eloquently, and he spends an entire week fasting and praying that God would spare the child.

But David's entire demeanor changes once the child dies, but it's not the change those closest to David had expected. They saw how distraught he had been while praying, and were afraid to tell him when the boy died for fear of how much deeper David's despair might become. But rather than sink deeper into depression, the king got up, washed, ate and went to the house of the LORD to worship.

His stunned staff want to know what's going on and why David's response is so different than they anticipated. So David explains to them why it was he could accept the situation: the child was now dead and nothing could change it. But yet David clung to more than just cold, hard reality. He had an optimism about him that enabled him to clean up and carry on.

David knew his son was no longer with him and that there was nothing he could do to bring him back again. But David also knew that he would once again see him. He will not return to me, David said, but I will go to him! Even if David didn't know the details or how it would be made possible, he knew with certainty that, as our Canons summarize the whole of scripture, that Godly parents ought not to doubt the election and salvation of their children whom God calls out of this life in infancy.

Dig Deeper

By God's grace, most of us will never experience the horror of having one of our children die. But all you need to do is stroll through a country cemetary to realize that it wasn't all that long ago that the death of a child - and often several children - was more the norm than the exception. Often times, their weathered grave markers don't even have names inscribed, and instead just say 'infant' or 'child' above a set of dates than only adds up to a few days or weeks.

Some of those families - especially the mothers - never recovered from such tragic losses. They had nothing to cling to but loneliness and never ending grief and tears. But many did; chances are that your grandmother or great grandmother was one of these bereaved moms who had hope for their child taken from them at such an early age.

The Canons don't offer this solid, certain hope with empty and vapid platitudes about how God just needed another angel or some other feel good nonsense. No, we can be so absolutely certain of this truth because it's grounded in God's unbreakable gracious covenant in which children together with their parents are included.

This promise doesn't alleviate all of the pain, and it's certainly not wrong to mourn, but it does offer unspeakable comfort and peace to those who hurt so deeply. Grieving parents whose hope is in Christ will, as David put it, will go to the child God had already called home.

AAA Prayer (About)

ACKNOWLEDGE WHO GOD IS: Our Father, who gives and takes away;
ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH GOD'S WILL: Thank God for the assurance His covenant promises give to you and your children;
ASK GOD FOR WHAT YOU NEED: